Role Playing: You’re a Political Consultant & Sarah Palin Wants to Hire You. What Do You Do?

Posted on April 22nd, 2011 by admin1 in political consultant

Sarah Palin is a caricature, a static one-dimensional character from a parodic country & western song. She’s a raving idiot hell bent on alpha posturing at all costs. She’s too stupid to be anything but aloof, and too aloof to act in any other way but stupid. Add a "beauty pageant" held at a bar in Wasilla, Alaska, a few terms in the PTA, a push to ban libraries from her small town, a "first dude", a drug-addicted son who ran away to the National Guard, a daughter who got knocked up to get out of the house, a Down Syndrome baby that might not be hers and a trail of dead moose in her wake and you have either a Bob Rivers tune or the life of Sarah Palin.

It’s interesting, though not surprising, that Palin refuses to grant interviews with anyone outside of Fox News. Both times she ventured outside the comfortable realm of News Corp., she was tossed underhanded softballs but couldn’t get a hit nonetheless. The Charlie Gibson interview was a spectacular failure, though the magnitude of its catastrophic implications paled in comparison to the interview that followed with Katie Couric. Palin proved beyond a shadow of a doubt to be nothing more than an abomination on the human race. No real human being can be so lacking in ethos, pathos and logos and the world was able to see it live or in its infinite replays on youtube.

Recently, he rebuffed Oprah Winfrey’s request for an interview, though her show provides a segue to her target demographic of middle-class suburban women 18-49. Palin has given up on giving interviews that air outside of FNC. She knows diverging from this tactic can only lead the electorate to get a better gauge on her. This, in turn, can only act as a detriment to her delusional aspirations. The once "Most popular governor in America" now has approval ratings barely over 50% and rapidly decreasing. In the United States overall, 75% find her to be incompetent and not fit for higher office. This came after the "I can see Russia from my house" bit.

Nevertheless, Palin does have money to throw around. So here is the question: If you were a political consultant, would you take Sarah Palin on as a client. If so, what would be your strategy to overcome the grave obstacles she faces in terms of her public perception and which tactics would you employ to undertake? Do this loathsome cretin stand any chance of ever again being of any sort of relevance in the American political stage? If you say yes, be ready to defend your point with facts. Any reasonable person of even mediocre intelligence will tell you she is a dead fish floating in a barrel.
JB- Your answer was thoughtful and thought-provoking. I agree that your prescription is a long shot. She has done more than enough to damage her image beyond the point of no return and she simply lacks what it takes to rebuild. I also agree that she should lay low and reboot, but her handlers are too greedy and she too foolishly intoxicated by her own press.

ananadyne- Overall, you are absolutely correct. Republicans don’t want her and will distance themselves from her. I was mere positing this question for fun, though.

Uhlan- If God is as merciful as they say, He will heed your prayer and grant the American people such a blessing.

badmotherrucker- Palin is now a joke. However, she was quite scary when threatening to take the national stage and curse us all to oblivion. I agree with you 100%

The Rest- Try addressing the question next time. Your Limbaugh-infused raves are what cost the GOP the election. This blind stupidity has lead America to the dire circumstances we face today.

I would tell her that the first thing she needs to do is get off the national stage. She needs to lay low for at least a year probably 2. Its okay to go to GOP events campaign for congressmen that ask you (especially when they happen to be in New Hampshire and Iowa). But she should not do any events that would attract national attention.

In the meantime, in addition to governing Alaska, she should be working with strategy groups to define a comprehensive energy plan–Since she is from Alaska, this is the area that even people who thinks she underqualified think she has some expertise. Additionally, she should try to accomplish a major piece of legislation in Alaska, preferably energy related, and more significant then simply renegotiating with the oil companies the amount they put into state coffers.

When she re-emerges on the national scene in 18-36 months to start her push for the presidency, her them will be energy policy reform, with a much more sophisticated plan then "drill baby drill."

Fortunately, I don’t think Palin will follow this advice. While it does give her an outside chance of rehabilitating her image with the general public, surrendering the stage she has now will hurt her chances in the GOP primaries, which is probably what her political consultants are most looking at right now.

8 Comments on “Role Playing: You’re a Political Consultant & Sarah Palin Wants to Hire You. What Do You Do?”

  1. Sponge-Ted Scotch-Pants

    Gosh….
    Looks like Sarah STILL has the libtards running scared.

    Ok Beef…Now do what libs do best and follow your last names advice.
    Ps. Don’t forget to hide the tissues from mommy!References :

  2. Kristina

    you started well i thought this was a question, instead it appears to be a rave,

    to answer you i would look for a person with a better chance than herReferences : actually better everything except fiquire maybe shes a hottie – yum yum

  3. JB

    I would tell her that the first thing she needs to do is get off the national stage. She needs to lay low for at least a year probably 2. Its okay to go to GOP events campaign for congressmen that ask you (especially when they happen to be in New Hampshire and Iowa). But she should not do any events that would attract national attention.

    In the meantime, in addition to governing Alaska, she should be working with strategy groups to define a comprehensive energy plan–Since she is from Alaska, this is the area that even people who thinks she underqualified think she has some expertise. Additionally, she should try to accomplish a major piece of legislation in Alaska, preferably energy related, and more significant then simply renegotiating with the oil companies the amount they put into state coffers.

    When she re-emerges on the national scene in 18-36 months to start her push for the presidency, her them will be energy policy reform, with a much more sophisticated plan then "drill baby drill."

    Fortunately, I don’t think Palin will follow this advice. While it does give her an outside chance of rehabilitating her image with the general public, surrendering the stage she has now will hurt her chances in the GOP primaries, which is probably what her political consultants are most looking at right now.References :

  4. hilo4noff

    Let me paraphrase for you: I’m drunk, and I hate Sarah (hiccup) Palen.References :

  5. lawrenceba549

    I’d tell her to attack the Democrats right where it hurts: attack their supposed intelligence and point out how arrogant it is.
    Your last sentence proves my point.
    By the way, since you won the election, is this your idea of moving on, or are you realizing that since President-elect Obama can not deliver all of those promises he made that his re-election is less likely than you thought November 3? And YES, I mean November 3.
    One last thing: Governor Palin never said she could see Russia from her house: Tina Fey did. But of course facts don’t matter to you, do they?References :

  6. ananadyne

    I think she is about to disappear from the political stage. Let us just forget that that poor pageant girl didn’t win her trophy..References :

  7. Uhlan

    Please God,

    PLEASE – let the republicans be arrogantly stupid enough (no one does arrogant stupidity better than a republican ) to nominate Palin for president in 2012 and again in 2016. Let her kill as many GOP presidential campaigns as possible, just like she did this year. Thank you in advance.

    Amen.References :

  8. badmotherrucker

    I would take the job, advise her to have a hunting accident, then find another job.

    P.S. I’ve been cutting and pasting this for a couple of days now. I’ll do it again because you might enjoy it.
    1, She didn’t know what a V.P. does, and two months later, she still didn’t know.
    2, She patted herself on the back for putting the state plain on E-bay, then took $20,000 from the state to fly her kids around because she didn’t have a plain.
    3, She accused Obama with palling around with terrorist, while being married to a secessionist who belonged to an organization founded by "Joe the bomber"
    4, She spent $150,000 of RNC money on clothes, in direct violation of election laws introduced to congress by her running mate.

    There are lots of other things I could write, I kept the list small, concentrating on the ironic and the corrupt.

    And lets not forget this.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwkb9_zB2

    P.S. For those of you who say the democrats fear her, your damn right we do. We fear her because she’d a soft headed moron, who’s a danger to us all. She’s just smart enough to get even stupider people to vote for her, and there’s enough of them to make her a threat to the civilized world.References :

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